Journey into unknown love

Matthew James Burgess, Tuesday the 27th of February 2024

It’s all started 3 to 4 years ago when I was in a deep depression and was on instagram in one of my many moods after just a bad day, week, month, year and so on when I come across a live and in this live I no joke come across this women who was screaming out incredible, she had it all was in a nice black dress, gorgeous smile, beautiful face, perfect body, but all I remember was like a light cone off her beaming into my stare, she was sitting in a high end luxury car , she just looked all the part like that was meant for her and till this day still believe she deserves it all, but as I was say this person captured my soul in one look having not ever seen her before I made it my choice to find her and follower her, who knew she would speak another language and that would make it even more harder to translate to her but I managed to follow her and as it goes I would then try to get her attention which after a lil bit I managed to do and so it went I basically told her what a loser I am with women and so one and noticed she had a keen eye for fitness which I liked that I have been slacking of in I know, anyways so I continued to pursue and on it went google stuff to write to her, telling her about myself and it was not easy as I did happen to come across hiccups along the way which had me talking to myself but then BIGO was a chance not instagram but to see her live again without other all focus on her and so I transitioned across and so it went again reminding who I was talking about myself constantly getting rejected with the I don’t speak English but I tried, using translators and just plain listening in Italian I progressed and I’ll say grown attached to it, she has such a wonderful voice and although sometimes I do not know what she says I still love it and hang off her every word, for I have grown to see she lives a life that many had picked on me for living and it was nice to see someone else doing great things, off great morals, believe it or not I still get the I don’t speak English after 3 to 4 years but I still don’t speak Italian, it’s very hard for me because she was the first girl to never shun me away even though there were difficulties which a lot of other just kick you out, I feel like I understand her drive and why she has to do things along with her goals and dreams, there’s so much stuff that has happened that after listening to readings I have learnt are no mistake and I hadn’t searched for reading they have just appeared in my search, like I needed to see, it’s very very hard cause I’m still not quite up there to say she would reply to me all the time which would be nice just to have someone back and forth no end to it or just openly telling stuff which she had tonight so that’s a surprise as I write this, I don’t know if I’ll ever meet this girl in person I sure as hell would like too but I feel it need more time to make sure we all feel safe and timing, besides that I really enjoy my time spent and enjoy even if I don’t completely understand word for word Italian and I wouldn’t knock it for anything, she is a great writer, very smart, athletic, childish, pirky and has a great humor, she has opened her world to me and in doing so helped me uncover parts of myself that I didn’t take much notice of because I never had really dove deep research from not know what to search, my religious views are very much like this I believe in everything I also believe that in order for us to grow and develop and continue on in existence we much keep believing in something greater stop trying to put a start to something but create a future in which we can grow on besides that the devil is very much real, and as for god, man who I have learnt to know so me I am man I must be god, well I’ve always believed in perfection I’m a Virgo after all so in the right time everything will be perfect and as god I am and in the name of Jesus and under the eye of Satan everything will be perfectly done that’ll last till the end of my time and so forth into afterlife’s and beyond for I’ve troubled myself as god the man I am believing I’m never good enough and in a way doing all this has help me feel good enough in some way more then I had before to which I felt like I was running off nothing and all this has made me feel good and she has surprised me multiple times when normally the girl would give me the boot and she hasn’t so all the work I do seems to be noticed and that makes me feel good so I’m happy with that and there’s a lot I need to do to I guess find a financially free method of living everyday that’s also rewarding and giving back plus gives me the ability to do whatever I like, with the one I like well I’m just waiting when your lost they secret they say is to stay still so that’s what I’m doing, I’m constantly trying new thing even just looking for small breaks like 100 bucks here 100 bucks their but so far not luck, besides being told to learn a trade which I took very seriously no partying nothing during, once complete I’ve never been able to do work for anyone independently or really for myself for either 1 or 2 meals because being a chef is time consuming and also great ingredients are quite expensive and then on top of that there’s technique and all that adds up when pricing and not one wants to pay that to someone who’s not a established restaurant or something but I’ve worked for celebrity chefs Michelin star restaurants, champagne parlours, pubs seafood restaurants, cafe, catering, Italian, Asian fusion, I was still the only chef to ever go to trial at Italian Michelin star 2 star hatted restaurant and ask to comeback for a second trial to which I rejected because it’s one thing to do service as a trial it’s simple just put the food on the plate another thing is to prep it and so I rejected on my second trial they couldn’t believe I had done that after all I did work for free anyway, so food is very expensive and I like fine dining but it’s expensive and so expensive I can’t even treat myself to the luxury in which I had learnt what a sad excuse for a trade right but hopefully with the right persistence and wait I can find something that get the ball rolling and some extra money coming in for all it takes is a start and consistency and bobs your uncle as they say, quite literally for me anyway, so this amazing girl, nothing but set backs, a plan to find a way to work and fix everything up plus be able to do what I like and what I want to do without hurdles as everyone should be able to do so long as they at least do a minimum 5 year learning a skill, have done some hard labour that helped build something that’ll last a lifetime and are still willing to make some time to contribute in a way telling their story or making a difference in any way possible and so everyone should be paid for my dream I have learn may look pricey on paper but theroretically don’t cost much if you do it the artisan way which is the way it way originally designed for there is always someone able to provide the materials and deliver and when deliver place it exactly as needed lol those who know will know what I’m talking about and way I’ve been writing for a fair bit now got a little off my chest scrambled for a bit of topic and threw a twist only so many would catch on too so see you later till next time and keep reading